Bienvenue a Twilight (No association with the French)

Welcome! This was made by two American, blue-eyed, bombshell college girls, one loves it, one hates it. We are really phenomenal friends regardless, opposites do in fact attract. To be warned, to all you TwiHards out there in the world, this blog will tend to be less than favorable of the series, or maybe, think of it as the Swiss nation of the Twilight world (for those of you who don't know, that means neutral. Tell your teacher you learned something today). I decided to create this blog a few days after seeing New Moon due to an intense need to get my opinion out to "challenged" 13 year olds. I'll be fair, my opinions have been formed after reading all 4 books, some multiple times, and seeing both movies, (several times). In other words, I participate in the phenomena, and yet, I find I have a lot of important negative things to say, along with incredible praise for Taylor Lautner's abs.

And so...enjoy! Positive comments are always enjoyed, and negative ones are inevitable and shall be joyously laughed at.

X GK & AH

Rating System

So we all understand how dolphin flipping crazy some Twilight fans can be (bite my baby?. . . . are you serious? How does your husband feel about this?), and so AH and I have come up with a rating system for this site. At the top of each post we will place one of three ratings, Good, Bad, or Fugly. If your eyes are too senstive to read some aweomely harsh posts about your imaginary boyfriends and their coherts then please avert your eyes on posts marked Bad, and especially fugly. We try to keep it classy, but a lot of the time, we can't hold it in. AH's will tend to be more favorable, stick to that if you are a fan.

Good = Taylor Lautner's Abs, Robert Pattinson
Bad = Taylor Lautner's Age, Robert Pattinson's Abs
Fugly = K-Stew

Sunday, 22 November 2009

Breaking Dawn: Fantasmically Digusting: Fugly


Alright so I cannot lie, I despise all things Twilight (except Taylor Lautner's shoulders, back, and abs...and no that isn't creepy), and chose to develop this site so people know there are others out there who don't like it. In fact, I dislike it so much I have things to say about it, like word-vomit.

Here's the thing: I used to love it. Spring semester of college a friend got me into the books, and like most delightful ladies, I read the first 3 in about a week. I was Team Edward (shocking!). I didn't hate Bella yet. And then something happened in August of 2008 that made me want to cry, Breaking Dawn was released. Never in my life have I read, watched, or heard of anything so bad. SO BAD. And here is my list of why:

No actual sex scene
A baby
Nay a demon baby (Linda Blair demon baby)
Jacob wanting to molest said demon baby
A horrible demon baby hybrid name (RENESME??. . . I call Shenanigans on that one)
Edward becoming only a sperm donor and no longer mattering to the story
Bella becoming a fruitcake of a vampire
Having the whole book lead up to a battle only to have.....a peace conference
Edward chewing through Bella's clammy lady-cave to get the demon baby out
Demon baby aging/trying to eat her mother
Edward approving of Jacob's need to molest the demon baby. Seriously planet Earth: This is the equivalent of me sleeping with my mother's ex-husband. BARNYARD does not even begin to describe....

And then worst of all:

The fact that the only reason sex matters in this entire story (entire meaning all 4 books), is for Bella to get pregnant and have her baby. No woman's ability to enjoy sex. No ability to continue to care about Edward once the demon is born. MORMON, hardcore. Also, we, the gentle reader, spent 3 books caring about Bella and Edward, as Bella and Edward, NOT as Bella and Edward, parents. We wasted this entire series on the wait for the baby. The CLIMAX of the story, is the baby, that is upsetting. This is a teen book world, this is meant for teen girls. That means 11-19 or so. And at the same time as Jamie-Lynn-Hick? And Palin Girl? Come on now. Inappro-pro.

X GK
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